Wednesday, July 11, 2012

流泪了

我抱着小肥哭了
今天是我第一次因为我们而流泪
流着的是开心却又担心
我们在一起的即将一个月
我几乎每天都在想
这笨蛋到底会爱我几久
其实不是我想这样想
我也不是特地有这样的想法
怪就在之前那一段不应该有的感情太过认真
我坦诚
现在对这个他还没有还没很深
我知道日子久了
对他的喜欢甚至是爱都会到无法自拔的程度
我不敢去想
因为我不想有了希望却换来绝望
站得越高就跌得越痛
我已经不能承受任何的痛了
我每次问他
你没有后悔过决定和我在一起吗。。
每一次他的答案都是一样的“没有”
我很常对他发脾气
虽然不是很大
可是足以让他难过
为的就是让他退缩
为的就是让他看清我
没想到他还是告诉我他没在怕
他越是对我好越是迁就我
我其实越难过
我会依赖
我会渴望更多
我会不停的要
一旦少了什么我都回不安
我或许是个不适合恋爱的人呗
我或许也不过想多了
谢谢他对我的认真
谢谢他对我的不死心
谢谢他做了一只打不死的小肥强
我会努力忘掉不该记的
我会努力学会简单
我不再炫耀不再复杂
简单的幸福已经很足够了
我会加油
一起努力加油呗我的爱...

文之心
munz :)

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

its July

Dear blog,

I'm so sorry that i dumped you for so long since March. I'm so sorry that i can't keep my promise to keep you update. I'm so sorry that you are not know me well any more. But i'm sure even i did this you will still forgive me, cause i'm you and i am forgiving myself. 

Let me update you what actually going on to me recently. I'm still still with The Ritz as a Guest Service. But am really planning to leave that nightmare place soon. *i seriously hopping is sooner possible* that why i'm actually searching for new job. But..... i really can't just simply find one that i like one. I just can't find the place where i love the environment. Maybe im being in the hotel Front line for years, so and i used to it with talking crab with people around. *i'm just enjoy talking :)* . Is hardly for me to search for a so called office job that want me to stick my ass on the chair in front of the computer for 8 hours maybe, it seriously kills me and i rather suicide... hahahaha..Yet, i know that i can find a job that i can work at least one year. so... wait for my update kay :)

Then... im facing some friendship problem you know? kind of sad when you treated someone good and you get betray. you know the feeling of BETRAY? hhheeemmm.. can say is... DAMN hurt lur.. but is okays.. i do meet and hang out with new friends. which i happily stick together with them. they so alot of stupid stuff together with me. we have alot of plan that we following. and ofcox non stop Gossiping... hahahahha

Now, i have a new relation too. His name is Jacob. A very cute guy. A right one. i decided to put down the relation that lasted for only one year and actually not suppose to have. Its hurt me alot until i cannot afford to go in any relation. But he came to me in a very sudden. I never thought that we will be together. First of all, he is 2 years younger than i, which is i kind of mind. but, he shows me that our age means nothing. he show his maturity always which i never see before when we are still friend. Then, he always got scolded by me even sometimes with no reason yet he still smiling. He is just another one so not my type but we go for each other. Its the 3rd week now we've been together. Im glad to have him by my side. even he is not that strong yet to protect me, but he gave me colorful life when im in black and white, he cook me maggie when im hungry, he offer me biting when im moody, trying his best to make jokes in front of me even every times he failed. but, im seriously happy to have him. i dont know how far will we go.. but he teaches me to enjoy simplest life that we can :)

okay.. lets stop now k.. i promise to visit and update you frequently as i can. i know i always drop my promised and you do upset.. but i will surely try my best.

Best Regards,
Munz with love