learning and wondering...

may be now is the time for me to let go...
your hand...
your heart...
your breath...
your warmth...
your smile...
your joke...
your everything...
is not belongs to me...

i knew that in the very first...
but...
how i wish...
just one minute...
or even one second...
i can hold your hand...
i can hug you up...
i can kiss your lips...
i can say i love you...
i can look at you...
everything i wish too...
but i know everything now is already too late...
what should i do now is give up...
yes...
learn to give up...
learn to forget....
learn to be strong...
and of cause learn to be smile all the while...
i know i can do it...
i believe in myself...
actually i just wish i be that brave....
then that i can tell you i love you...
but unfortunately,
i'm NOT!!!
i don't know what will you respond after that...
i choose to hide everything from you...
just being whatever we is now...
pure...
just that pure and nothing else....
i wonder when is the right time...
i wonder when will you believe me...
i wonder when.....

is a brave to fall for you...
munZ

student exchange day!!!

yea, Japaneses students came our college today... only me and Eddie taking a group of 6 people... but Janice more worst... her group member don't know at where... disappear... pity her lo... teehee... mine also not seems that good... i can't communicate with them... iiissshhhh.... only keep on "so re wa bla bla bla des" then, "tosokan", "toire", "sokudo"then... some more what? no more.... hahaha.... feel so sorry lo... this is the second semester i study for Japanese... yet still can't get to communicate with them... haiz... no comment with it lorr... so end up we just communicate in English... hopefully they understand what i said larr... haha... just because of hard to communicate... we end up just like didn't talk much with them... i think they sure felt so boring there host is us... just felt so sorry to them too... haha... after that then rush to Karman house and bath cox wanna go for interview later... meet up with he gang at bus stop at 2 and lucky we didn't late for it since is abit jam there... after the interview done we went sg.wang for a walk... then also sing fews song there... and today we got a follower.... wakakaka... which is Lum Kar Man... teehee... she not in my group but she followed us to interview... just to replace some one... haha..

made a final decision^^,
munZ

cooking day...

yea... Tuesday again... yea... happy again... wakakaka... today we prepared fish again... beside that... we also cooked Spinach... really headache with chef Brain luu... he always left my group behind... my group forever the last he will consider... T.T... so our group forever the last only done all our things... we actually planned to play basketball after kitchen... and also dinner after basketball... but end up didn't play... i also don't know who's fault... we reached basketball court and stared to call up nemo and ah mo... but no one answer the phone.. fine... in the end we leave... me and Karman went Bao Bei place to play "mao mao"... wa... it change her fur color already lorr... seems more gray now.. haha... then end up chit chat at Bao Bei's room.. we 3 suddenly talk about own "history"... sound funny... ya.. we talk alots of different of our pass... and yes... she know lots of things that other don't know... i actually not wish or willing to tell out... but in the end....... ..... ..... ... *sweat enough* but of cause she not know everything just because i still keeping... i just wish that was my own memories and not to share with other...


i'm actually also blur enough with what i tell them... and also don't know what to do since the problems appears or started... we discuss and giving suggestion to each other... felt so lovely... hope that she will keep our secret... teehee... i know she will... this is what really can't let other know... because i don't wish too...... i actually always asking myself... what is those stupid weird feels that always appears when he is there... i really tried to cover myself very hard... i wish to success all the time... but it doesn't... i got no other way do let things be fine... just hoping everything maintain... although i knew he seems further away from me... at least i still keeping that feels with him and me in the very first we started... although it just a short period... but is already enough for me... but somethings that i really wish to tell you that is "i really didn't play with our relation in the very first..." i know you wont believe it... but i just wants to tell you... and i know you wont listen... i even knew that everything is too late to be mention or explain... misunderstand is misunderstand...
my only sorrow...

everything is too late???!!!
munZ

周杰伦 － 说好的幸福呢

你的回话凌乱著
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱著歌
假装没事了

时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始的不快乐
你用卡片手写著
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了

怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数著你再不捨
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不等了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪乾了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转著
要怎么停呢

你的回话凌乱著
在这个时刻
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
甜蜜散落了
情绪莫名的拉扯
我还爱你呢
而你断断续续唱著歌
假装没事了

时间过了 走了
爱情面临选择
你冷了 倦了 我哭了
一开始的不快乐
你用卡片手写著
有些爱只给到这 真的痛了

怎么了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
开心与不开心一一细数著你再不捨
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻
我都还记得

你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪乾了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转著
要怎么停呢

怎么了 你累了
说好的 幸福呢
我懂了 不说了
爱淡了 梦远了
我都还记得

你不懂了 说好的 幸福呢
我错了 泪乾了 放手了 后悔了
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转著
要怎么停呢
________________________________________________
just received this song from Karman yesterday... can't believe that i cried for this song... yesterday is the first time i finished the whole song... ya... is the first time... in the pass i just listen to the radio and every time also just halfway listen it... i dont know why... so finally i get the full song... then the whole day i just listen to this song and keep on repeat and repeat... my tears... falling and falling... cant control... iiissshhh... how long i didn't cry for a song?? but then how come i will cried for this??? i wondering... haha... i like the lyrics... for me is touching... this song making me recall my memories... and the now him.. i think my heart is with him... but i dont dare to admit it... he seems like getting further and further away from me... i hate the feelings that he said whatever that hurt me... i dont know that with his purpose or he didn't mean it... but... is really hurting me... i wish to get back the very first feelings that belongs to us.. the me and you... is this possible? will the feels coming back? will you coming back too??? i'm now acting to be just friend... very pure friend... with not crossing both line... this is what you set me in the pass... lots of things that i now really dont dare to do... not like in the pass... i will just go for it whenever i want...now, i fear to lose... i affair that you will leave me alone here... i dont want... i just want you stay by my side... even we are just friend... I'm satisfied with it...

hey... "i think i love you"... how i wish just one day i dare to shout out loud and let you know... but i wonder when is the day...

heart???
munZ

re-do???

damn shit okies??? haiz... tot that after pass up the assignment then everything fine even i know i will get no mark for it or mayb low mark lar... but i okay with it... and also got no comment with it too... but suddenly the lecture said that wanna return the assignment and want us to do again... hello... ms.Gan... you expecting my group member will re-do for you?? is impossible... the one who doing is only me... what you what me to change and re-do for you??? i got no any idea... i had already give out what i want to my group member... but that is what they gave me and wanna pass up... so... what should i do is just pass up to you what they pass to me... that all... i had already done my part with my full effort.... and one more... i NOT copy and paste from the net.... don't said that everyone is copy and paste... if you really with that my part is also copy and paste so then i will do so... is a very easy job... then i no need to think to change every word that from the net... lucky that yesterday who you meet is not me... if not... i think i will just start on my fire in front of you... what i just want to said is i cant corporate with this kind of member... you... you.... i dont want to mention out your name... but i know that sure i talking about you.... dont put on my fire any more... hey... this is a group work.. can please show me what is team work???/ did i ask from you much??? did i???? everything i already separate each by each... who need do wish is chosen by you guys own choice... to be fair i already mix every 2 in 1... i even write down the website for each every of you... but in the end... what i get???? just 4 or 5 pages???? only copy and paste???? what the hell is going on??? if you all dont wish to do.. just tell... i can just tel the lecture that you all not wish to do any assignment... so... no point wasting ur time for me... 5 pages.... omg... 2 perayaan you just manage to get 4 short page and 1 pic... hello... come on lar... dont make my mark down okay??!!!! i even help you find more... but yet still you giving me rubbish... expecting i will help you change or do it for you..??? excuse me... NOWAY i will.... that's me... ya... i'm such a bad member that with you all.... if i'm bad... then what about you guys???? GOOD????!!!! damn it okay... and another... why you guys can do very good in OWN assignment and also the presentation???? you... that day i saw ur presentation for the english... wtf... you can do that good for your own... but come to group assignment.,.. what you pass me???? SHIT.... yes... totally SHIT..... no more joining such member again in future assignment... is horrible okay!!!! damn it.............

cooking day~~~

yeah.. whenever comes to Tuesday... i will very excited... because every lesson we will learn something new and also more and more different... today... we learn to cooked fish and chip... i actually wait a long long time to learn this... actually we already heard this one week before... who know last week we cook different things.. but i still ok with it... beside that, i also learned to make maselow... then the other group prepared sauces, french fried, spaghetti, and also bread... i think that all, if i not forgotten... chef device things that we need to do to each of the group... then all busy doing this and that... no one got free time to entertain me... wakakaka... okies... i didn't do much disturbing.. just because everyone is busying.. including me... if not... *imagining*wakakakaka... finally... all done.. ofcox also our fish in the very last... then chef show us how to do some decoration with each every dishes... after that... our turn to do so.. we also get to eat the chicken that we help to prepare!!!!! wakakak... then finally... itarakimasu.... *いたらきます* and ofcox... oishii*おいしい*wakakaka.... then today our class finish before 6... first time that early.. teehee...


chef is demo-ing...


my group's fish...
and also the maselow!!!


the salad...


the spaghetti...


the bread...


mine!!!

enjoy cooking...
munZ^^

finally~~~

finally BM assignment had passed up today... done it in the very last minutes... the now me was just like breathe a sigh of relief... firstly is just because of my BM is really really suck... i admit it... shame to be as a Malaysian... wakakaka... today reach Karman place at around 10... because i need her check out on my assignment and also my kesimpulan... then 11 something we done everything and ready to print and also wanted to take our breakfast after printing all the stuff... but who knows... after printing we already late for the class.. so then we 'da bao' to class... okies.. for sure... we already late for class for about half an hour... yet we still walk in like 'whatever'... wakakaka... then the other group are presenting in front... just wanna said sorry that interrupt by us... btw... euu guys still doing the good presentation lar.. no worry... wakakaka... but tell you all what?? munZ group wil be the best.. wakakakakakaka... high-ing again.... iiiissshhhh..... lots of other late for their presentation today.. hopefully their mark will not getting low because of this... *blessing*... then end up.. we ate at class and also in front of the lecturer... *naughty us* wakakaka... i don't wish to do so... but i serious hungry... so.. just forgive mii lar... wakakaka....

a short finally!!!
munZ