lost~~~

i'm totally lost my way now... i have no idea how to move my next step... i hate myself for being so useless and brainless and hopeless as well... how can i bring people who so caring about me in sad and worry that who will always stayed beside me when i needed them... how can i hurting myself to payback whatever they treat me good?? what they want form me is just wish i can live happily and cheerful... i do live happily and cheerfully whenever they around me... but i'm sorry to say all what you gals see that is juat what i'm pretending all the while.. i'm so sorry for the pretending.. i just dont wish that i making you gals worry for me...

i cant stand any more by now... i really have no idea how to continue pretending that i'm ok anymore... can you all just teach me what to do?? i really wish i could just leave away whatever that not belongs to me anymore.. but.. i couldn't... i tried so hard before... but what the result for tried so hard is just my tears still continuous falling... so... i really have no idea now... i dont know what the hell that i can do now to recover everything that heppened so deeply remembered in my heart!!!

i have no idea what the shit is in his mind now... guessing guessing and just non stop guessing with no and accurate answer that i can get from all my guessing.. i do tried to ask for my answer... just because i have the right to know for my question... but what i get from the respond is just a idiotic shit answer that not related to my question.. son of the bitch.. hell for that... totally wtf man~~~

what can i do now?? i really tired of everthing now.. especially guessing.. i dowanna keep on guessing about ur mind anymore... cox i really have no more evergy... but... how manytimes i do mentioned that i dowanna care?? but... until today... what drive me crazy??/ is just still because of my guessing!!!!!!! heart sick man~~~

just one day... maybe one day i would really make myself saying good bye~~